I Solemnly Swear the Mischief is Managed
by theIRONIST89
Summary: What if, instead of Peter, the fourth Marauder was a girl? How would things be different and what would remain the same? AU.
1. All aboard the Hogwarts Express

"Sorry, we're full."

The girl didn't look sorry, Remus Lupin mused. She had had a rather amused look on her round face as she looked around the compartment and told Remus that he couldn't sit there. But the compartment wasn't full, there was only a handful of bored looking Ravenclaws with their feet up on the chairs. Remus sighed. His parents hadn't said starting Hogwarts would be THIS bad. HE had entered several compartments in the hopes of putting down his heavy truck and sitting, but to no avail. The compartments were either full of seedy looking Slytherins or hostile-looking Ravenclaws who turned their noses up at Remus, the lone, wandering first year. Remus peered into the door of the next compartment. It was empty, save a brunette girl sitting cross legged on one of the seats, immersed in a book.

Remus cleared his throat.

"Erm, excuse me, can I sit here? Everywhere else is full." The girl looked up from her book, her dark eyes meeting Remus' blue ones.

"'Course you can", the girl replied with a smile. "It took me a while to find a compartment I could sit in without some scary sixth year asking about my _blood heritage_." She made a face.

Remus nodded, diving into his trunk for a book of his own. He finally found one, a muggle book entitled _The Concrete Jungle: Age of Technology_. He sat down on the chair opposite the girl- feeling slightly embarrassed at having barged into this girl's compartment and barely said two words to her. But then, Remus was painfully shy. Once you got to know him, he was talkative and friendly, but before that, he was a clam. A very, very tightly shut clam.

_Oh, what the heck._ Remus thought. After all, his parents had always taught him to be polite, even if he didn't know the person in question.

"I'm Remus Lupin, by the way." He stammered. The girl looked up from her book, her chin rested on her hand.

"I'm Kate Whitman," the girl, or rather, Kate, replied. She smiled and returned to her book. Like Remus, Kate was shy around people she didn't know, and she certainly didn't know this boy. She had also planned to spend the train ride in peace, reading her book.

"Whatcha readin'?" Remus asked, peering over the top of his book.

"Oh, it's muggle work," Kate said, not meeting his eye. "_Tin Cans_, nothing interesting, y'know…"

"I'm half muggle," Remus blurted out suddenly. He felt himself go red. _What the hell?!_ He thought.

"OH! Cool! I thought for a second that-no offence or anything- you might be one of those pureblood supremacists. '_Muggles are a waste of time, they are so idiotic and stupid, so inferior, blah blah blah._' You know the type," Kate shrugged and put down her book. "I'm actually pureblood myself, but my parents reckon muggles are just the same as us- without magic, of course."

Remus grinned, relieved. He had been warned by his parents that some of the students at Hogwarts would treat him as an inferior because of his muggle heritage, and he was relieved that Kate didn't mind.

"What house do you reckon you'll be in?" Remus asked, carefully placing his bookmark in his book and shutting it.

"Oh, Gryffindor, I hope. My parents were both in it," Kate replied. "You?"

"Same. My dad-he's a wizard- was in Gryffindor, too." Remus said.

"Mmm. So, do you play Quidditch? Well, backyard Quidditch, obviously, or, Quidditch to some extent… I have a tendency to talk too much." Kate laughed.

"Yup. Backyard Quidditch with my cousins. Always gives mum a kick to see us fly around on brooms," Remus chuckled. "Usually I'm seeker, though. How 'bout you?"

"Chaser, actually. Never really had keen eyesight, I suppose its from all the candlelit reading I do!" Kate said lightly.

There was the sound of wheels rolling slowly along carpet, and then the frosted glass door of the compartment rolled open.

"Do you want anything off the trolley, dears?" The woman pushing the trolley along asked. Kate and Remus left their seats to buy a couple of chocolate frogs and some cauldron cakes. They returned to their seats carrying their horde of sweets, and sat eating the cakes as the countryside slowly morphed into a dark forest full of dark leaves and twisted tree trunks.

After another hour or so of pleasant conversation and jokes between the newfound friends, the frosted door slithered open once more to reveal an older boy in Hufflepuff robes. His brown hair was done in a slick side-part and his uniform was immaculate.

"First years?" He asked, eyebrows shooting up into his hair. Remus and Kate merely nodded- the boy looked as though he would have given them a detention had they spoken.

"You'll be wanting to get changed, then. We're about fifteen minutes away." With a curt nod, the boy left, leaving Kate and Remus in fits of laughter.

"He looked like he forgot to take the hanger off his robes!" Kate cried in laughter. Remus didn't actually know why they were laughing, but they just kept laughing as they pulled their uniforms and cloaks out of their trunks.

"Here, I'll go to the bathroom and get changed, and you can stay here and change here." Remus said, heading for the door.

"M'kay, thanks." Kate nodded as Remus shut the door behind him. Remus walked down the carpeted corridor (_Yuck. That's HORRIBLE carpet_. Remus thought) and turned left at a sign with a little stick figure man dancing around on it. He pushed open the door, and gasped at the sight that met his eyes.


	2. Toilet Troubles & Disembarkment

The walls of the toilet were smeared with some dark brown paste that looked suspiciously like…

"SHIT! What the hell happened in here?!" Remus turned around to find the uptight looking Hufflepuff boy standing behind him, Head Boy badge gleaming in the light.

"I think… I think someone had a bit of accident." Remus joked. He knew it was immature and would possibly get him in trouble, but it had to be said.

The Hufflepuff looked incredulously at Remus, and then asked, "Did you see who did this? You only _just _came in, it can't have been you."

As he spoke, a bespectacled boy with messy black hair emerged from one of the cubicles, an empty plastic jar in his hand, and a lopsided grin on his face.

"What in the name of Merlin is going on?!" The Hufflepuff boy asked, noting the black-haired boy's amused expression. The black-haired boy held up the jar- _'Seamus' Naturally Nutty Chocolate Spread,'_ the label read. Remus held back a snigger as the Hufflepuff boy shook with suppressed anger. The black-haired boy brazenly held out his hand to Remus. "James Potter," he said, "I'm I first year too." Feeling a little stupid, Remus shook the boys hand as the Heady Boy grabbed James by the collar of his shirt.

"It's your first day, and you're _already_ causing trouble! Why the hell did you have to do this?!" The head boy asked.

James shrugged. "I was bored, I guess. Three and a half hours on a stuffy train is a long rider when you've only got your sixteen year old _female_ cousins and their friends to sit with 'cos nowhere else is free." Remus looked determinedly at the school crest on his white Oxford shirt to quell his laughter.

"Right. You-" the Head Boy jabbed his thumb at Remus, "Get changed and don't tell anyone about this. You-" he pointed at James. "Come with me. You've just earned yourself a ride in the prefect's carriage."

"Oh, Merlin! NOT THE PREFECT'S CARRIAGE! ANYTHING BUT THE PREFECT'S CARRIAGE!" James squealed in mock terror as the Head Boy pulled him out of the bathrooms. He gave Remus the double thumbs up as his head disappeared around the doorframe. Remus chuckled and put on his uniform, taking care to leave his top button undone and untuck his shirt slightly at the back. He didn't want the students from other years to think he was a complete nerd on his first evening, after all. He hadn't gotten his house tie yet, so he opened the collar of his shirt a little, and, bundling up his clothes, left the bathroom as a few other boys whooped with laughter at the choice of decoration.

He returned to the carriage he and Kate had been sharing, to find Kate sitting on the floor in her uniform, reading. She, too, had not yet received her house tie and so had her top button undone and shirt slightly untucked. The only difference was that she wore a grey pleated skirt that fell to her knees and knee high grey socks with a gold stripe around the top.

"What took you so long? And they say _girls_ take forever to get changed." Kate rolled her eyes. Remus told her about the incident with the chocolate spread. Kate chuckled and gazed out the window as she replace her book in her trunk.

"Remus, I think we're here!" She cried. Remus joined her at the window, and he too saw the bright lights and turrets of Hogwarts castle. The lights reflected off the lake, upon which large drops of rain fell. The train came to a sudden, spluttering hald at Hogsmeade station, and a loud male voice said, "Please disembark the train at Hogsmeade station. Leave all belongings behind as they will be transported to the castle for you. Enjoy the rest of your evening."

His knees suddenly knocking with fear and his stomach doing amazing acrobatic feats in his abdomen, Remus walked over to the carriage door and with Kate following, walked down the long corridor and off the train. Hogsmeade station was crammed full of students in their Hogwarts robes, some holding cloaks over their heads to prevent getting wet. Kate unfastened her cloak from her shoulders and swung it over her head.

"Fancy joining me?" She asked Remus, grinning. Remus nodded, swinging his own cloak over his head and watching as a tall, skinny figure emerged from the darkness.

"First years, you will follow me to the bank of the river." A curt voice said. Remus and Kate looked at each other, and followed the stream of first-year students to the place the figure had said- the bank of the river.


	3. Sorting methods

**DISCLAIMER: Hey guys, I just realised I forgot my disclaimer in the other two chapters. SORRY! Well, I obviously don't own anything, or I would be publishing through Bloomsbury, and not Fanfiction.**

Remus and Kate clambered hurriedly into one of the boats as the stern voice who had told them to go to the river bank in the first place began ordering them to row. They were joined in their boat by two more first-years, a greasy haired boy with sallow skin and a hooked nose and a haughty-looking girl with black bushy hair. The two newcomers took one look at Remus and Kate and sniggered, whispering in hushed tones as Kate and Remus rowed. Kate suddenly stopped rowing and glared at the pair of sniggering pre-teens.

"Shuttup, Black, or I swear, so help me Merlin, I'll knock you right outta this boat with this oar." Kate pulled the oar out of the water and Remus bit his lip. Apparently Kate had met the two before, because her tone was completely hostile.

"As if you will, Whitman. You're all talk." The greasy haired boy sneered. Kate arched an eyebrow.

"Am I, Snape? I distinctly remember and incident when we were eight that involved my wand up your left nostril. But I suppose that was all talk, wasn't it?" Kate put the oar back into the water and rowed again. "And Black, you _know_ I would." The bushy haired girl smirked and gazed at the water.

"You're awfully quiet, Mudblood." Remus flinched. "What's the matter, don't like the word, _Mudblood?_" The girl asked. Her voice was cool and calm, much deeper than Kate's, and it had an eerie sort of quality to it.

"No, I just don't feel the need to waste be breath on complete _ignoramuses_ like you two," Remus said calmly. Needless to say the rest of the row to the castle was a quiet one, the four passengers ducked as they glided under a stone bridge and then sailed bumpily over a heap of rocks. By the time the boat reached the castle shores, the first-years were so relieved to sea land that they climbed quickly and gratefully onto the drenched earth.

Kate grabbed Remus' wrist and dragged him as far away as possible from the bushy haired girl and greasy boy.

"Stupid pureblood bastards." She muttered, letting go of Remus' wrist. As she spoke, the huge wooden double doors burst open and a middle-aged witch in dull grey robes examined the first years, lips pursed.

"Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I am Professor McGonagall, your deputy headmistress, and you will now follow me into the the dungeons to await your sorting." With a swish of her robes, McGonagall began a brisk walk through the stone entrance hall, shoes clicking ominously on the cobbled stone. The crowd of first-years followed her like a herd if little lost sheep as she clacked her way through the hall, down a flight of torch-lit stairs and into a dark, cold, dungeon.

Remus shivered in the dark as the murmur of students already in the main hall was heard above the quiet whispering of the first years. Kate had gone deathly pale and was staring blankly ahead of her, while Remus noted that James, the boy from the toilet incident earlier on the train was grinning widely at nothing in particular. His hazel eyes just kept darting around the dim dungeon, obviously searching for mischief. From his left, Remus heard a boy's voice whisper excitedly,

"I heard you get to fly around on a broomstick, and depending on how well you fly they put you into houses."

Remus snorted. Somewhere in front of him, a girl hissed,

"No, you moron. They make you give a 2-minute speech in front of the school about why you deserve to be at Hogwarts, and the houses vote on which house you deserve to be in. My sister had to do it." Remus looked to Kate for some confirmation that this suggestion was correct, after all, it _sounded_ logical. But Kate was still looking unblinkingly ahead, and ignored Remus' prodding.

The suggestions of the sorting methods went on for a few minutes, and it wasn't until one boy suggested that the first years would be asked to duel on unicorn-back in front of the school that a husky male voice laughingly said,

"You're all dolts! It's just a hat! They make you put on some ratty old hat and it's meant to see into your soul or some sappy stuff like that." There was a soft _swishing_ sound as the first years turned around in the dark, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, Remus spotted a boy with folded arms and a smug grin on his face, which was half-hidden by a cheekbone length curtain of black hair.

"But that's IMPOSSIBLE!" a voice cried, "Hats can't see into your soul!" Somewhere at the back of the dungeon, someone was clicking their tongue.

"Unfortunately, Sirius here was right. Some mangy old had sorts us into houses. Pity it's not done based on ability- if it was, we wouldn't have any filthy _mudbloods_ admitted into _our_ world." Remus recognised the voice as that of the bushy haired girl Kate had referred to as 'Black' in the boat.

"Shuttup,_ Bella._" The boy who had explained about the hat said. His grin had been replaced by a scowl and he looked positively vicious, Remus thought. "You know that _half_ of these muggleborns could hex you into next year at the bat of an eyelash- they just haven't learnt the material yet."

The bushy-haired girl opened her mouth to reply, a venomous look on her face, but before she could say anything, the dungeon doors had opened and McGonagall addressed the first years.

"You will now follow me into the Great Hall, where you will be placed in alphabetical order by surname and sorted into one of the four houses: Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin. I wish you all the best of luck."


	4. I can tell that we are gonna be friends

**DISCLAIMER: It is with great pain and discomfort that I assure you, once more, that I own none of this, only Kate Whitman, who is cool.**

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing, guys! LMAONAISE it makes me feel special! And don't worry, Sirius and James will be properly introduced really soon!**

Remus didn't know exactly how it happened, but he suddenly found himself standing nervously in a long line of first years. His knees knocked as he stood before the rest of the school, who were already seated at the tables, some impatiently rapping their knuckles on the long wooden benches and others looking almost wistfully at the empty golden platters. Only minutes earlier, Remus had said goodbye to Kate, wished her luck with sorting and the rest of the year, just in case they didn't end up in the same house.

And so Remus found himself wedged between two girls, the one before him was two heads taller than him with curly auburn hair, and the one behind him was also taller than him by a couple of centimetres and had black hair tied in a tight ponytail next to her left ear. He was now watching the sorting hat sing- yes sing, some strange ballad, but was only half-listening as a wave of intense nausea come over him. _What if they decide it was all some sort of mistake?_ Remus thought. _After all I am a-_

His thoughts were interrupted, however, as the hat stopped singing and McGonagall unfurled a long scroll of parchment.

"Abbot, Ezekiel!" McGonagall barked. A blonde boy with his tie so tight it looked as though he might choke stumbled forward and placed the hat on his head. The hat paused for a second, before shouting,

"HUFFLEPUFF!" The hat shouted. Ezekiel padded, blushing, to the table on the far left who had erupted in tumultuous applause.

"Avery, Jonathan!"

"SLYTHERIN!" The table next to the Hufflepuff one broke into applause, and Jonathan strode confidently over to the table.

There were a few more Hufflepuffs and Slytherins, and then "Taylor Bendigo" became the first Ravenclaw. The table to the left of the Slytherins clapped and catcalled as Taylor stalked over to join them. Remus's nerves had settled down a little now, but his feet were beginning to hurt from being stood on for so long in the same position.

"Black, Bellatrix!" The bush-haired girl, Remus noted with glee, actually looked nervous as she jammed the hat on her head. The hat had barely touched her hair before it screamed,

"SLYTHERIN!" Bellatrix replaced the hat on the stool before striding smugly over to the Slytherin table, looking so proud she might burst. Remus noticed that the Slytherin table was now looking intently at the head of the line, where the boy called Sirius, who had spoken earlier in the dungeon was standing.

"Black, Sirius!" McGonagall called sharply. _Oh, so they're related_, Remus thought. _Funny that, I could've sworn they hated each other guts._

Surely enough, as soon as Sirius' name was called, scowls appeared on the faces of several Slytherins seated along the Slytherin table, Bellatrix included. This, however, didn't seem to phase Sirius, who walked casually over to the hat and placed it on his head. When the hat didn't shout a decision after a few minutes, the students began to get restless and whisper amongst themselves. Sirius himself remained on the stool, idly fiddling with something in his cloak pocket, his foot tapping impatiently on the ground. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the rip in the hat's brim opened and the hat screamed,

"GRYFFINDOR!" Remus thought that the house on the far right, the house he had heard so many great things about would be glad to welcome their first new student of the year. Instead, there was only lukewarm, scattered applause, and hissing and booing coming from the Slytherin and Griffyndor tables. At the staff table, the teachers looked dumbstruck and only Dumbledore clapped, his great beard glinting in the candlelight.

After the initial shock of Sirius' sorting had worn out, McGonagall peered down at the parchment again and continued the sorting. Remus tuned out once again and looked around the hall, mesmerised by the ghosts at the back of the hall who were entertaining some students at the Ravenclaw table by flying in and out of suits of armour. Before he knew it, minutes of mindless day dreaming had passed and

"Lackley, Elizabeth!" the girl standing in front of Remus was called to be sorted. Remus felt the butterflies flit around in his stomach as Elizabeth joined the Ravenclaw table. _ Any second now, any second now._

"Lupin, Remus!" McGonagall called. Remus felt as if he was going to wet himself as his stumbled towards the three legged stool. He picked up the filthy looking hat and placed it gingerly on his head. As soon as he did so, a high-pitched voice that seemed to come from all around him hissed,

"_Mmmm, a great mind. Very sharp, very bright. And what's this I see? The want to prove that we're just as normal as everyone else. Yes, very insecure… but ahhhh… brave. My boy, you would do well in Griffyndor. Loyal, too. Right, only one option then. We'll go for…_

GRIFFYNDOR!"

Remus stood up from the stool and walked with shaky legs over to the Griffyndor table and plonked down onto the wooden bench next to Sirius Black, who was wearing a very sour expression on his face.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked as "Norbet, William!" became a Ravenclaw. Sirius turned to look at Remus, his hair still covering his left eye.

"Yeah, I'm alright I s'ppose. My family's probably going to disown my because I've '_besmirched the family name'_ and gotten sorted into a _'mudblood loving_' house. But they're all bastards, the lot of them." Sirius said bitterly. "I s'ppose your going to hate me for being sorted into Griffyndor? Lupin's not a pureblood name, and my bloody_ family_ are well known for insulting half-bloods."

"Well, I don't see why I would _hate_ you," Remus said with a smile, as "Ophelia, Kalyn" got sorted into Slytherin. "I don't know you after all. Even if your family are horrible, me hating you on principle would be just as bad as you hating me purely for being a half-blood, wouldn't it?"

Sirius grinned. "I can tell that we are gonna be friends," he said.


	5. Forging Friendships

**DISCLAIMER: I haven't yet found a legal loophole that would allow me to claim the Harry Potter saga as mine. So it remains the property of the amazing JK Rowling. Except Kate. Kate is MINE. **

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews and favourite-ing guys! You're AWESOME! Because the other characters are getting properly introduced in this chapter, the chapters will focus on people OTHER than Remus now. It will rotate. **

Sirius's stomach rumbled loudly, causing him to clutch at it and grin. He noticed the scowls of those surrounding him and his grin grew larger. Sirius was partial to attention. Aw, heck, who was he kidding? Sirius LOVED attention, he was a born attention seeker. His stomach gave another great grumble as "Potter, James" joined the Gryffindor table. Sirius recognised the surname Potter as an elite pureblood family who had earned themselves 'blood-traitor' status from the Black clan due to their pro-muggle beliefs. James swaggered over to the table, where he was met with applause and cheering. His father, Matthew Potter was a well known auror, and the Gryffindors were obviously pleased to have him in their house.

James' dark eyes swept the length of the table, and the only free spots were either next to Remus, who was on Sirius' left, or across Sirius. James scowled and sat at the latter. "Well, _Black,_" he spat. "Shouldn't you be over at the Slytherin table with the rest of your _dear_ family?"

Sirius raised his eyes to James, still grinning cockily.

"Those mongrels are not family of mine," he said, "_I_ think that muggleborns are just as worthy of learning magic as the rest of us! If you have a problem with me, I suggest you take it and shove it up your- " at this point, Remus, looking worried, interrupted.

"You're both being complete and utter prats! You haven't even met before! Just shut up and watch the sorting." Sirius and James turned to look at him, and Remus just grinned. All hostility forgotten, Sirius and James directed their attention back to the sorting, where "Snape, Severus" was sitting on the beaten stool.

"SLYTHERIN!" the hat yelled. Snape scuttled off to the table, his sheet of greasy black hair plastered to his forehead.

"Whitman, Kate!" Kate hurried towards the stool, her hands stuffed into her cloak pockets.

"Ew, gross. She has to put on the hat after _that_ slimy git had his head in it." Sirius chuckled. Kate seemed to be thinking the same thing, for she hesitated, holding the hat at arms length for a second before sweeping it onto her head. James cringed.

'And it's on!" he said, holding his hand like a microphone beneath his chin. Remus snickered and Sirius smiled. There were a few seconds of silence as the hat thought, and then,

"GRYFFINDOR!" Remus smiled at Kate as she walked calmly over to the table, a grin on her face. She collapsed onto the bench next to Remus as the last two first years (Maxwell and Maxine Yendlesson) got sorted into Hufflepuff.

"The hat wanted to put me into Slytherin!" Kate said, fiddling with the end of her ponytail. "Said I was pureblood, proud and wanted to prove myself!! Luckily, it changed it's bloody mind at the last minute! I think I would've gone _home_ if it put me in Slytherin!"

Both James and Sirius looked slightly surprised at Kate's outburst, and there was a pause before Sirius smiled and said,

"I'm Sirius Black, you know, part of the infamous Black clan. I'm the white sheep of the family. I think your family knows mine," The Whitmans, like the Potters were an affluent pureblood wizarding family with liberal views towards muggles.

"Yeah, actually. I'm Kate." Kate replied. James nodded.

"I'm James. I think our families know each other. One of their _societies_ and whatnot." James said. Kate nodded understandingly. It was a well-known fact that all affluent pureblood families congregated once a year to discuss muggle-wizarding relationships.

As Dumbledore spoke about restrictions and out-of-bounds areas, the four first years made smalltalk and became fast friends, James and Sirius putting aside their differences to inconspicuously tie fishing wire to the handles of jugs of pumpkin juice so that they could yank them away from people trying to drink. Sirius' stomach rumbled again as Dumbledore wrapped up his speech and dishes of all of Sirius' favourite food appeared on the table.

He reached for some Chilli Chipolatas and began piling them onto his plate.

"Oh-Sirius- the string… you-" Kate tried to warn Sirius that he was still holding the string of fishing wire, but it was too late, the wire had already snagged onto something and the jug of pumpkin juice was yanked off the table and landed in the lap of a nearby girl, who screeched. Sirius hurriedly dropped the wire. _Oh damn._ He thought. _I wasn't supposed to do it __**yet**_ Across the table, James was clutching his sides in laughter as Kate and Remus stared determinedly at their plates of dinner.

"Whoops," Sirius said, but it came out more as a question than a statement, so it sounded more like, "Whoops?"

"Ah, Sirius, mate, you've got to be a bit more subtle. Like… _this._" With a flourish, James pulled the fishing wire and then deposited it into the cloak pocket of the poor second year sitting next to him. The jug was dragged across the table on it's side, leaving a pool of sticky orange pumpkin juice in it's wake.

"OI! Martin, I would have thought that _you_ of all people would have had the sense _not_ to pull a fiasco like this!" an older boy with brown hair said, angrily mopping pumpkin juice off his steak. Martin, the unsuspecting boy who found the fishing wire in his pocket hung his head in shame.

"_Really_. If that Martin boy wasn't so thick not to realise that he hadn't tied the string to the jug and stashed the string in his pocket, James would have been caught." Kate whispered to Remus and Sirius. Then, in a louder voice, she added,

"It wasn't very discreet."

James merely gave Kate the double thumbs up and replied,

"Oh, don't worry Kate, I won't get caught."

"Say it any louder and people will hear you." Remus said in a singsong voice.

"Ah… I'm full." Sirius said, leaning back on the bench and patting his stomach contentedly. _Oh, pudding!_ He thought. _NO! Control yourself! __**But they have Sacher Torte!**_ Another voice in his head said. _NO! _Said the original voice. _That's enough to eat. It isn't healthy._

Kate must have noticed Sirius' struggle, for she smiled and said,

"Y'know, I honestly think that if you eat any more, you'll burst."

No sooner had she said this than the golden platters wiped themselves clean of any remnants of food (the table rid itself of the trail of sticky pumpkin juice) and Dumbledore stood up to speak.

He cleared his throat. "Right. With your stomachs full and your eyelids surely drooping," ("Stomach full, eyelids _not_ drooping!" James muttered) Dumbledore said, "Off to bed! Chop chop! First years following you're prefects, please!"

With that, the four friends followed the brown-haired boy who had reprimanded Martin (they later discovered that his name was Brian and he was prefect) up several flights of switching staircases, through multiple disappearing doors and down a long corridor until they reached a portrait of a rather obese fat woman in a pink frock. '_Ha, she looks a bit like my Auntie Meryl,'_ Sirius thought with a chuckle.

"OK, you go in through this portrait hole," Brian said loudly, "Password's _Blast Ended Skrewt_." The portrait swung open to reveal a comfortably furnished room with a blazing fire that Sirius was too sleepy to look at right that moment.

"Girl's to the left, boys to the right." Brian added, gesturing to the staircases.

"'Night Kate!" James called after Kate.

"'Night!" Kate replied.

"'Night Kate!" Sirius said.

"'Night Sirius." Kate sighed.

"'Night, Kate!" Remus said with a grin.

"Good_night_!" Kate said exasperatedly. With one frustrated wave, she swept up the staircases to the girls dormitory. Snickering, the boys climbed the stairs to _their_ dormitory, and found six beds, trunks adjacent, with nameplates at the feet. After saying goodnight (again) to his roommates and new friends, Sirius drew the curtains around his bed and lay down on the comfortable white sheets, thinking.

'_Well, I suppose the entire family will hate me for this, but… Gryffindor's pretty cool. I'm glad I didn't wind up in Slytherin with the rest of __**them**__.'_ Sirius thought, staring up at the canopy of his bed. "_I s'ppose I should expect a Howler tomorrow…oh well… I'll cross that bridge when I get there…'_ With a grin, Sirius rolled over and into a deep sleep.


	6. Here comes the howler Or not?

**DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately, my name isn't JK Rowling, and I own none of the Marauders except Kate, and none of the Harry Potter saga but this plot. **

**A/N: THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING! I'm not terribly fussed if you don't review, but if you've got a few seconds, feedback on Kate's character (I'm not entirely sure if she is written well enough) and perhaps some prank ideas (I've got a few ones up my sleeve, but a few more are welcome) would be very much appreciated. Hope you enjoy this chapter! **

James' hazel eyes snapped abruptly open as the sun rose over Hogwarts castle, illuminating the stained glass windows and stone turrets. _First day of Hogwarts, first day of Hogwarts!_ James thought excitedly as he reached for his glasses on the bedside table. As he did so, he glanced at the Snitch-shaped clock he had gotten for Christmas. _6:47. Perfect._ James thought. Breakfast began at 7:20, and it took about 15 minutes to get down to the Great Hall from the boys dormitory. This meant that James had roughly 8 minutes left before he had to wake up his roommates to get dressed. Sure, it was a small window of time, but any amount of time was enough for James to pull a prank in.

Rolling silently out of bed, James opened his trunk and dug around clumsily for a thick black marker. After a few seconds, he found what he was looking for and withdrew it with a triumphant grin. Tip-toeing over to Sirius' bed, James removed the cap of the marker and bit his lip. _What shall I make him today?_ James wondered._ I think a monobrow should do it_. Jaw clenched in concentration, James used a steady hand to draw a thick black to conjoin Sirius' dark eyebrows before removing his hand to admire his handiwork. James smirked as Sirius snuffled in his sleep, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. James glanced surreptitiously at the rest of his roommates, who all remained asleep, spit-trails of varying lengths dangling from their mouths. James stared at Remus for a moment, contemplating what to draw on his face. He couldn't give him a monobrow too, Sirius already had one. Besides, it wouldn't blend in with his hair as well as it had with Sirius. Remus was rather shy, James had noted the previous night. A sudden idea hit him, and he took his marker and wrote the letter 'H' on Remus right cheek and the letter 'I' and an exclamation mark on his left. Remus would walk around for the rest of the day saying "hi!' to everyone and anyone he met. Before James had the chance to _embellish_ his other roommates faces, Remus alarm clock, and antique muggle one, went off, shrieking shrilly.

James bolted for his bed, throwing the marker under the blankets and landing in a heap on his bed, shutting his eyes and opening his mouth in a convincing attempt of sleep. And not a moment too soon. He heard Remus stir and then mutter something before the alarm clock stopped shrieking and footsteps were heard padding along the soft carpet. James squeezed his eyes tightly together to try and avoid smiling as Remus went around the room, waking everybody up. After a few agonising seconds, Remus walked over to James' bed, yawned, and then tapped James' shoulder, muttering,

"James, it's time to get dressed. C'mon." James rolled over and heard the others emerge from their beds and open their trunks in search of clothes. Their house ties had been laid out atop their trunks in the night, and they dressed in a silence, sleep still in the air. James determinedly avoided looking at Remus, who was humming softly to himself. Looking over at Sirius' bed, James noticed that he was still asleep, and a small air horn was lying on his bedside table.

"Didn't you wake him up?" He asked Remus.

"Yes. Well, I _had_- I mean, he should've been up by now… we're going to be _late_." Remus said testily, his back still to James.

Shrugging, James walked over to the bedside table and saw that there was a note beneath the horn. The note read, _Mates, I am a deep sleeper. A VERY deep sleeper. No amount of tapping or prodding will wake me if I am not ready, consider yourselves warned. This horn in my left ear should wake me, however. _James scoffed in amusement upon reading the note before picking up the horn, directing it at Sirius' left ear as requested, and squeezing the pump. Sirius sat up with a start, almost hitting his head on the low canopy of his bed.

"Wha-? …oh…" Sirius mumbled sleepily. "So you got my note then?" James nodded, and then pointed at Sirius brow.

"Nice monobrow, mate." He said amid gales of laughter from his roommates.

"What _are_ you talking 'bout?" Sirius asked groggily, sauntering over to the mirror. "I haven't got a- SWEET MERLIN!" Sirius spotted his reflection and gone bright red.

"I agree, it suits you." Remus said, joining Sirius at the mirror. His grin suddenly faded, however, when he noticed the greeting etched onto his face.

"HI." Peter, one of their roommates said impishly.

Remus looked horrified. "What the hell?!" he said loudly. Shaking his head, he loosened his tie and picked up his bag, before leaning against the doorframe and tapping his toe irritably. Sirius, still a little annoyed at his suddenly united eyebrows had dressed quickly, throwing on his cloak as he, James and Remus farewelled their roommates and headed for the common room to meet Kate.

"Was it you, James?" Sirius asked with a serious expression. James nodded, grinning.

"Couldn't you have thought of _anything_ more original?!" Sirius roared with laughter as Remus grinned and waved at a couple of older boys laughing at the greeting on his face. The three friends walked through the common room until they found Kate standing near one of the bookshelves, rummaging through her bag. Upon spotting them, she burst into loud laughter, eyebrows raised and arms folded.

"Niiiiiice." She said, giving them the thumbs up. "Ready for breakfast?"

"'Course we are, I'm _starving_." Remus replied.

"Looking forward to the food, but… but I can probably expect a Howler." Sirius said, hanging his head. The other three nodded sympathetically and they exited the common room via the portrait hole. Kate turned to look at Remus.

"Oh, and Remus?" She said.

"Yeah?"

"HI!"

The four friends burst into raucous laughter as they stumbled into the Great Hall. A couple of seventh-year Hufflepuffs walked past, snickering at Sirius and Remus' facial decorations.

Plopping himself onto the bench, Sirius bent his head and helped himself to some scrambled eggs. Kate sat next to him and reached for some toast, while James and Remus sat opposite them and opted for porridge and oatmeal respectively.

"I wonder what we have first…" James said as Remus and Kate watched Sirius scoff his eggs in a rather… _undignified_ manner.

"I dunno… I hope we have Charms first." Sirius said, spraying James with bits of projectile egg. "Whoops… sorry, James."

As James rid himself of egg and reassured Sirius that he didn't really mind getting sprayed with eggs, the _swiiish_ of Owls delivering post overhead could be heard. Sirius groaned.

"Bloody owlpost," he said grumpily as the owls circled the tables in search of their owners.

"What's the matter? …oh… the Howler, that's right." Remus said quietly. A grey owl with black flecks descended sharply and dropped a beige enveloped in front of Remus, before flying away hurriedly. 

"Oh, yeah… That's our family owl, Lacewing- he doesn't like me much." Remus explained, opening the letter. James nodded. The Potter family owl, Mumford, was flying gracefully down to James, depositing a small square package and perching on the rim of his goblet of water, and taking a drink.

"OI!" James cried, swatting Mumford away from his goblet with his left hand and untying the string son the package with his right. Mumford gave an indignant sort of hoot and flew away with his beak in the air. James scoffed at the retreating owl and extracted a bag of white iced cupcakes and some ginger snaps from the package.

"Score! Supplies!!" He cried jubilantly, tearing open the packet of ginger snaps.

Sirius shook is head, the pit in his stomach still not having disappeared. No new owls were appearing now- the owls already in the hall were merely sweeping down to their owners or flying over to the owlery.

"Oh… I think we're getting our timetables," Kate said suddenly, gazing up at McGonagall, who, indeed was coming down the table handing out student schedules.

"And so the pain begins." James muttered as McGonagall handed him his timetable. McGonagall frowned and turned to Sirius.

"Mr Black, I suggest that you rid yourself of that pained expression, or people will mistake you for ill and recommend you see the nurse. Perhaps some tweezers would be useful, too," McGonagall said. Sirius studied her face for any sign of a smile or joke, but she remained pokerfaced and staunched.

"Mr Lupin, Ms.Whitman. Good luck on your first day," McGonagall said. "Good day."

Remus studied his timetable, a frown line appearing between his eyebrows and the lettering on his cheeks distorting slightly. "We've got History of Magic up first… I heard that's meant to be awfully bland. And then double transifguration and double herbology."

"Great. No charms 'til Wednesday, and we don't have Potions with the Slythersnots 'til Thursday." Kate looked over to the Slytherin table where several burly boys were flinging porridge at each other, but missing by long shots.

"Ooops. Sorry, I didn't mean to, y'know, insult them… after all, you're family's… sorry Sirius…" Kate waffled, catching the glazed expression on Sirius' face. Sirius shook his head, his hair flopping about madly.

"No, no. It's not _them_. Those… mentally incapacitated dolts are no family of mine." Sirius said bitterly. "I was just…um… I'd geared myself up for a Howler, y'know about my being a disgrace and besmirching the family name… I was just thinking about how…" Sirius wanted to say how stupid the howler would make him feel and how a reminder of his biased family would make some of the older Griffyndors, who _already_ hated him, despise him even more. Instead, he finished, "…how it would make me feel strangely vindicated."

Kate looked satisfied by this statement, but Remus still looked unsure. James, however, finished wiping his bowl clean of porridge and treacle, and swung his bag over his shoulder.

"I suggest we get going," James said with a grin. "I've heard it's awfully difficult to find your classes on the first day."


	7. And so it begins!

**DISCLAIMER:** You're a highly intellectual individual, apparently, because you can read. Meaning that you are smart enough to realise that I'm not JK Rowling, my writing style is nothing alike nor do I own Harry Potter or anything but Kate and the plot. And I'm not a good enough writer to be her, anyways. D

**A/N:** Thank blazing-orchid if you were one of those people who wrote to me asking me to continue this story. I initially wanted to discontinue it, after 1 review for every 100 hits, but blazing-orchid, and a handful of others let me know that they actually _care _that this was being discontinued. SO enjoy, people. And please, review. I would like to know what you think of Kate, I'm a little insecure about her. Snaps for anyone who reviews!

Flump.

Kate landed on her bed, dropping her heavy school bag on the floor and groaning. Friday night two weeks into her time at Hogwarts and she was absolutely exhausted. It wasn't the classes that tired her out, so much as the journey to and fro them.

Often she would walk to class with Sirius, Remus and James only to find that the door had decided to pay a visit to it's sibling on the previous floor, or taken a nap and was snoring loudly. On more than three occasions they got caught on the swivelling staircases, with slightly tipsy nuns in tapestries hissing at them and giving them wrong directions to their classroom, which Sirius seemed to find very amusing, whereas Kate thought it highly ironic that nuns, of all people, were tipsy.

Not to mention the night-time wonderings that Kate partook in. James was in possession of an invisibility cloak that meant that the four of them could sneak down to the kitchens (where they discovered a kitchen full of cheerful, eager house elves) and cram their pockets with food at any hour of the day.

As Kate mulled on her experiences with her newfound friends over the past fortnight, there was a sudden click of the dormitory door and Kate sat up to see who had just come in.

"Oh, hi Lilly," Kate said, upon seeing the vibrant head of red hair from over the foot of her bed. Lilly looked around, her bright eyes landing on Kate.

"Kate! I didn't see you here!" Lilly said, looking genuinely surprised. Kate noted that she had a smudge of dirt on her face and her usually immaculate uniform was slightly skewed.

"I thought… I thought you were… Have you seen Sirius and Remus around? Or… _James_?" Lilly spat the last word like faecal matter that was poisonous and left a bad taste in her mouth.

Kate smirked a little at this. Lilly had detested James since their first charms lesson when he 'accidentally' set Lilly's notes on fire. Personally, Kate hadn't seen the big deal, and she was a fairly studious person herself, but Lilly had taken to either avoiding or hissing sly insults and James whenever he was within a 2-metre radius.

"No, I haven't seen them since dinner. I had to do my Charms work, they'd finished it all in class because… well, they'd finished it, and they said they were just going on our usual.-no they just went." Kate said honestly. Well, _almost_ honestly, at least.

If she was being _completely_ honest, she would have told Lilly that they had gone to the 5th floor transfiguration corridor to look for more passages out of the school. But she wasn't foolish enough to tell Lilly that.

She liked Lilly and all, but she could be a little… pompous at times, and Kate knew she couldn't trust her with the information of their nightly escapades.

"Mhmm," Lilly nodded, "… it seems that someone's let off some hiccoughing gas on the 5th floor corridor, and I saw the three of them walking towards the very same corridor a couple of minutes before hand."

"Oh," was all Kate could say. Just that morning, Sirius was telling them about the canister of hiccoughing gas he had found in the boy's bathrooms.

"D-did you tell anyone?" She asked Lilly nervously. Lilly visibly paled.

"Well, no, if they got caught they'd be in _heaps_ of trouble! But, if they do _one_ more thing to annoy me, so help me Merlin, I will tell someone! It's a _horrible _trick to play, they could lose us _so_ many points!"

"They're not hurting anyone, I don't see why it's such a big deal." Lill looked at Kate, bewildered. Kate scowled.

"Y'know what? I think i'll just go _talk_ to them," she said haughtily, swinging her legs over the end of her bed and leaving the dorm.

"Who is it?" came Sirius' voice, the laughter within the room dying out.

"It's Kate!" Kate replied, poising her hand on the door handle.

"Right. In you come, then!" James' voice called. Kate wrenched open the door without further ado to see all three boys still in their uniforms, Sirius and James sprawled across one of the beds and the floor respectively, Remus sitting calmly on his bed scribbling on some parchment.

"She knows!" Kate said breathlessly. She was met with blank looks and wide eyes. Kate rolled her own eyes at their reactions.

_Honestly_ she thought, _about to get told on by the biggest goody two shoes in our year and they don__'__t even care._

"She? Which she? And Knows _what?_" Remus asked, his right hand still moving across the parchment. Kate shut the door and sat onto the bed next to him. Compared to the other 4 beds in the room, which were laden with underwear, towels and Merlin knew what else, his parchment strewn bed was immaculate.

"Lilly! She saw you three headed to the corridor shortly before the hiccoughing gas was released! And she realised that you just got back from the _very same_ corridor without hiccoughs!" Kate explained.

"Yeah, well did she tell anyone?:" James asked nonchalantly. Kate shook her head. Sirius picked some dirt of his sheets and then said,

'Well, as long as she didn't tell anyone, we're fine."

"You don't get it do you? She _will_ tell someone if we do anything else to annoy her! And chances are, we _will_- anything we do seems to take the mickey out of her." Kate said exasperatedly.

"Woah, woah, woah. Kate, calm down. Your starting to sound just like your average pre-teen girl: dominant and hysterical." Sirius teased.

Kate grinned and threw Remus' pillow at him. Hard. It made contact with his left ear. And hard.

"HEY!" Sirius cried, holding his arms up in defeat. "So what are we going to do about Lilly?"

"She was the best person to prank…" James said, in an almost wistful tone, "she got so agitated over the littlest things…"

Remus and Kate exchanged incredulous looks.

"Easy, we prank someone else, you dolts. There are plenty of people out there to prank. There are always the older years too, I mean, what about those fourth years who keep tormenting us about not being able to join the Quidditch team?" Remus said reasonably.

"Ahh, good idea Remus, old boy. Now you're talking!" James said from his position on the floor. "I still have a supply of dungbombs we can use… and we've picked up quite a few good hexes. I think it's time we have an all out prank day!"

The alarm clock buzzed from beneath Kate's pillow where she had stuffed it the previous night so as not to wake the other girls in her dormitory when it went off. Quickly, she turned it off and then dressed swiftly in a pair of faded black pants, dirty tennis shoes and a green t-shirt of a muggle band. She stashed her wand in her pocket and tied her hair in a messy bun at the back of her head, before tiptoeing to the door and creepy down the stone staircase.

As soon as she reached the bottom of the stairs, a hand grabbed her and yanked her roughly into the niche at the foot of the steps. Another hand clamped itself firmly over her mouth. Kate frowned, and wrenched the hand off her mouth and turned to look at her attacker.

"Ow, what the- James?" Kate asked, blinking in the dull light.

James nodded and then pulled her back out of the niche. Kate glared at him, rubbing her arm where he had grabbed her.

"Sorry," James said sheepishly, "Just had to make sure that it was you- we have a pretty big hoard of pranking materials lying around the common room-if anyone else saw it…"

Kate arched an eyebrow and then stalked away into the common room.

"I don't see why you have to be so secretive, James, it's seven thirty- only half an hour later than we _usually _get up." Kate said over her shoulder.

As she entered the common room, she noticed how right James really was about the amount of pranking material. Bags and boxes were laid out on the couch, all neatly labelled with masking tape and green texta. Remus mock-saluted Kate, who returned the gesture.

Sirius, however, was busy putting labels on the last of the boxes, and didn't look up. Kate caught sight of some of the labels, namely '_Dragon dung bombs__'__'__Tickling Toast__'__ and __'__Adhesive Whoopie cushions__'_. Prank materials of both muggle and wizarding origin sat demurely in their places, ready to be used.

Sirius finished putting on the label on the last bag ('_Self propelling spit-balls__'_) and then turned to look at the other three, grinning.

"I now declare the Hogwarts feel-the-wrath-of-the-first-years prank day officially begun!"


	8. They'll never know what hit them!

**DISCLAIMER: I****'****m slowly running out of somewhat witty things to say and I STILL don****'****t own Harry Potter or any other affiliated characters, spells, etc. I DO own Kate and my pranking fancies, though.**

**A/N: I know, I know. It****'****s been a while since I updated- but I****'****ve had exams and my Flute yearlies are coming up, so I****'****m pretty darn busy. Enjoy this chapter, though!**

"Okay, Kate and Remus, you take the adhesive whoopee cushions, the wet dog spray, the trick wands, the un-banishable fog, the hugging soft toys and the glue." James said, thrusting the said materials into Remus and Kates waiting hands.

"Where do we set all this stuff up?" Kate asked, peering into the bag of Trick wands.

"You take the 4th floor up, don't let anyone see you, remember?" Sirius asked bearing an expression stern enough to rival McGonagall's. Remus and Kate nodded mutely, stunned by his serious approach.

"So… with the glue, we can just be creative and do whatever we want?" Remus asked excitedly. James threw him an odd, confused look and then nodded.

"Right-o then. Kate and Re, over and out." Kate and Remus did their best to salute James and Sirius with their arms full of bags and boxes. Needless to say, they failed miserably and spilt quite a few trick wands on the floor in the process. Kate looked at Remus, eyebrows raised questioningly.

"Shall we spread them around a bit?" She asked as James and Sirius clambered hurriedly through the portrait hole. Remus nodded, grinning widely. The pair of them hastily kicked and nudged the wands under the couches and tables and pacing a few on top of bags and books in an attempt to make them look like they had been accidentally left behind.

"Going to have to make sure I keep my wand on me from now on!! Wouldn't want to pick up one of _those_ morphing little buggers.' Remus laughed, patting the front pocket on his jeans.

"Yeah. Shall we go? I hear there is a certain Hufflepuff corridor just _waiting _to be rigged with unbanishable fog." Kate said.

"Aha. We should get going, I mean, Sirius and James might have already gotten there. They were terribly excited, truth be told, when we were getting dressed I was afraid James would wet himself in all the excitement." Remus replied, grinning.

"No, no. Loop that string around the statues finger, it's less obvious." James instructed, squinting and tilting his head slightly to the left. He and Sirius had set up a water bomb booby trap in several corridors, and were using the last few to create a massive one in the entrance to the Great Hall. The only problem was trying to conceal the string.

Sirius stepped back to admire their handiwork. He, too squinted his eyes and cocked his head to the side, scrutinising the barely visible web of string.

"Yeah, I mean, in the light, it's not entirely that obvious. Just, if you tilt your head _this _way-" Both he and James squinted at the web for a few moments, deciding whether or not to leave it.

"Nah, it should be fine." James said eventually. "We better get going, people will start coming down soon, and if they see us here-" he ruffled his hair nervously, "That's a Howler for us."

"That was strangely," here Kate paused to find the right word, "liberating."

"Yeah, it's a bit of a shame it had to be the Hufflepuffs though. I wish it was the Slytherins walking around with whoopee cushions attached the their rear ends for the entire day." Remus replied, eyes twinkling.

"Yeah, they should be avoiding the beans for a while there," Kate joked, rummaging around in the plastic bag of prank supplies that she was holding. By now it was pretty much empty save a large green box the size of a shoe box. Grinning triumphantly she pulled out the shoebox and waved it in Remus' face.

"Wha-? Oh…" Remus confused expression quickly turned to a grin as he read the print on the box.

"Perfect. Absolutely perfect."

"And now, Mr Potter, I think that it's time to pull the last rabbit out of our hats." Sirius said, opening a shoebox exactly the same as the one Kate and Remus had just opened a few floors above them.

James nodded solemnly.

"Yep, I agree. But as soon as we release them we'll have to leave the box and run straight for the common room- otherwise _we__'__ll_ be the ones who get hit." James warned, placing his hand on the release button. Sirius nodded seriously and looked up and down the corridor they were in, estimating an escape route.

"Mkay, coast is clear!" Sirius said, saluting James.

James nodded.

"Right, on three… one, two, THREE!" as soon as his finger pressed the release button, James and Sirius bolted down the corridor, footsteps echoing off the stone walls and shaking the suits of armour on plinths.

After an eternity and many confused stares, the two boys reached the Griffyndor portrait hole and screeched the password at the fat lady, who muttered mutinously beneath her breath as the two climbed hastily through the hole in the wall and slammed her shut behind them.

James collapsed in a nearby armchair, ignoring the looks of curiosity he and Sirius were receiving from other students in the common room. He looked around to see Sirius spread eagle on the floor and Remus and Kate sitting at one of the tables, apparently absorbed in their homework.

"OI! Remus! Kate!" James heard Sirius call.

"Yeah?" Remus asked, looking up.

"Did you set off the you-know-whats?"

This time it was Kate, grinning like a Cheshire cat, who responded.

"Course we did! And near the Slytherin common room, mind you. WE had a long way to run!"

"Great," James said, "They'll never know what hit them."

For days after the four friends went on their prank spree, students discussed the multitude of heat-seeking dungbombs released simultaneously. The smelly missiles had chased students and teachers alike down the corridors, their merciless pursuits halted only when they finally reached their targets and exploded with a rancid odour.

Older students marvelled at the audacity of the pranksters and the elaboration of the other pranks pulled on the day, and suspected their fellow senior students, meaning that James, Remus, Sirius and Kate were not under suspicion.

By breakfast on the following Thursday, talks of the prank had been reduced to almost nil and no students had yet been apprehended for the pranks.

"Like I said," James said cockily as he helped himself to some cream cheese, "They'll never know what hit them."


	9. Kate's a juvenile deliquent!

**DISCLAIMER: I assure you once more, anyone you recognise is JK Rowling's not mine.**

**A/N: I know it's been FOREVER since I updated, but I had a little thing called writers block. Good news, though! I got my 4****th**** grade AMOB for flute! YESSS GO ME. Anyways, back to the story. I hope this is worth the wait. Please review to let me know you still care!**

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"…and thus the Salem Society for Witches was born. Any questions?"

James stifled a yawn as he, along with several other members of the class shook their heads. History of Magic truly was the most boring subject he had ever encountered, its dullness only enhanced by the blandness of the grey stone classroom.

_Only 11 more minutes and 53 seconds_, he though gloomily, staring at the large clock perched on the corner of Professor Binns' desk. With every second that passed he could feel a little bit of his brain turning slowly into mush as he mechanically nodded and shook his head in response to whatever Binns said. This lesson had been by far the worst he had experienced during his short time at Hogwarts, for he, Sirius, Kate and Remus had been separated early in the class for so called 'disruptive behaviour'.

In reality, Sirius and James had just been busy drumming on the tables and punctuating Binns' lecture with groans and sighs. At first, Binns had ignored them, continuing his mindless droning as Sirius and James snorted and made percussive sounds with their stationary, much to the amusement of their classmates.

But then Sirius had accidentally smashed Kate's bottle of ink with his wand, and she had retaliated by kicking him sharply in the shins under the table, to which Remus had sniggered. Binns had then looked up from the thick, dusty volume he was reading out of and separated the four.

Now they were sitting in the four corners of the room, James at the front left corner drumming his fingers impatiently on the table, Kate in the front right gazing into space, Sirius in the rear left corner tearing his notes into little pieces and Remus in the rear right, pretending to take notes but really doodling idly on a piece of parchment.

James glanced at the clock again. _9 minutes_. He groaned internally and gazed out the window beside him, marvelling at the pristine conditions of the Quidditch pitch, wishing that he was out there, soaring through the air, the wind-

"OW!" James snapped out of his reverie as a tightly balled up piece of parchment rebounded of his right ear.

Binns turned his head to glare at James. James supposed that he was supposed to be on the receiving end of a withering glare from the professor, but the effect of Binns' luminous face contorted in a frown was as frightening as a slice of cucumber.

"Is there a problem, Mr Potter?" Binns croaked, still fixing James with the supposedly intimidating glare.

James swatted the air around him as though an insect was buzzing annoyingly around him. Those sitting in adjacent desks sniggered; it was clear nothing was really bothering him, but Binns had such poor eyesight he couldn't see this.

"Oh, no, no professor. Just a fly. Sorry for the interruption," James said, hanging his head remorsefully.

Binns gave him a sceptical look and continued reading.

_What the hell?! A blowfly?!?!_ James scolded himself internally for having come up with such a lame excuse. Suddenly remembering the parchment bullet that had caused his interjection in the first place, James surreptitiously knocked his quill off the table, and, in picking it up, hastily scooped up the wad of parchment.

He unfurled it on the table and smoothed out the crinkles, chuckling at the text etched on the parchment.

In the centre of the parchment in Sirius' block print was the message:

_He looks like a gumnut._

James picked up his quill and hastily scribbled a reply:

_Oh yes, Sirius, 'cos that isn't random at all._

Then, pretending to stretch, he lobbed the parchment over his head and back to Sirius, before returning to his new favourite habit: clock gazing.

Really, it was a fantastic way to pass time. James stared at the clock face and it's fast rotating arms, willing the bell to ring. Which it did, albeit 7 minutes and 12 seconds later.

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"Potter! Black! Whitman! Lupin!" Binns croaked as the students filled out of the classroom, all eager to get to lunch and erase all memories of the mind numbingly dull lesson from their memories. The four ambled up to Binns' desk, trying to hide their amusement at the attempt at ferocity on Binns' face.

"Yes, sir?" Remus asked meekly. Sirius snorted. Remus was excellent at playing the role of the studious, conscientious student who deeply regretted disrupting the class.

But really, he was just as bad as the rest of them.

"I will _not _have you disrupting my class again, is that clear?" Binns asked as the four children in front of him hung their heads. "2 points _each_ from Gryffindor, Black and Potter for disruptive behaviour. 1 point from Gryffindor for doing nothing to stop them, Lupin. And 5 points from Gryffindor for an unprovoked physical attack on a fellow student, Whitman. Don't let me catch you do it again. That is all."

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"You guys better stay away from me, I'm a delinquent," Kate said in a mock serious tone, averting her eyes from her friends' gazes. "I executed an unprovoked physical attack on a fellow student."

James, Sirius and Remus roared in laughter at this statement.

"Yes, you're a certain felon, I suppose. One to be feared," Sirius joked.

Remus looked at Sirius, a bemused and slightly shocked expression on his face.

"Sirius, that was… No, just… no." At this the four burst into laughter again.

"Does he honestly think that taking off a grand total of _10_ points from Gryffindor is going to deter us from so called disruptive behaviour?" James asked, making air quotes with his fingers.

"Oh come on, give him a break," Kate sighed, "He's an old man, that was probably the worst punishment he could think of. Perhaps that was the extreme in his day."

Sirius goggled at Kate as though he had never seen her before.

"Are you _insane_?! He's not an old man, he's a bloody ghost!"

James coughed.

"Literally."

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"Hmmm, I wonder what potion we'll be doing today?" Remus asked, flicking through his workbook until he found a blank page.

Sirius leaned back on the rear legs of his chair and put his hands behind his head.

"Something easy, hopefully. Looking for a bit of a bludge."

At these words, Lilly Evans and the brunette sitting next to her turned to scowl at Sirius.

"Honestly, after such _disruptive_ behaviour and being so annoyingly _immature_ in the last class, I would've thought you'd be satisfied." Lilly hissed in a disgusted voice. The brunette next to her nodded in affirmation, a disapproving look on her face.

Kate quirked an eyebrow.

'Well that was…"

"Random." James finished, gazing at the torch-lit doorway. "Euch, it's the Slythersnots." James lifted his left hand to gesture sharply at the group of Slytherins who had just entered the dungeons.

Most, if not all, of the Slytherins displayed looks of either intense distaste or anger at having to share a classroom with their arch-enemies and swept over to the opposite side of the classroom with Bellatrix Black shooting Lilly and her brunette a particularly withering look and rolling her eyes at Sirius.

"Mind you don't roll your eyes clean out of your head, Bella!" Sirius called cheerfully, gazing at Bellatrix, who growled and looked away.

"Did she just… growl?" Remus asked Kate incredulously.

Kate nodded.

"Oh yeah, Re. She growled."

-------------

"After noting that a few of you need quite a bit of help with your potion making, I shall partner you randomly with someone from the opposite house to aid you in your work, as well as to forge inter-house relations. That is, if you are a wee bit slow in the head, if you are a Gryffindor you'll be partnered with a Slytherin and vice versa. Partners will remain the same until the end of the semester," Slughorn explained.

There was a loud collective groan as all the students in the dungeon expressed their distaste for Slughorn's grouping methods.

"Excited, eh?" Slughorn called obliviously. Sirius rolled his eyes at Slughorn's naivety as he began to call out partners.

"Lilly Evans and Kenneth Mulicber," Lilly frowned a little at this, and went to sit with Malfoy.

"Hanna Connor and Remus Lupin." Lilly's brunette friend groaned, picked up her things and collapsed moodily in the chair next to Remus, her dark eyes sending him dagger looks, which he ignored pointedly.

"James Potter and Marcus Zabini." James retched and remained seated, nodding pointedly at the seat next to him.

_I'll be _damned_ if I move for that bugger,_ he thought.

"Narcissa Black and Matthew Finnegan." The sandy haired Gryffindor trudged sourly across the room and sat, arms crossed, next to Narcissa, who stuck her nose in the air and ignored him completely.

"Kate Whitman and Bellatrix Black." Bellatrix sneered at Kate, who didn't rise from her seat. Instead, she extended an arm to indicated the free space next to her, with the same defensive air as James.

Slughorn raised his eyebrows, but said nothing, instead choosing to continue pairing people up.

"Sirius Black and… Severus Snape."


End file.
